It has been a little over a week since I posted my blog ‘Living with Lyme and Auto-Immune Disease’.
Just over a week and a week in which I have received the results of more of my tests. It turns out that I have more things to add to the list of things wrong with me. The main thing is that my once dormant Epstein Barr (Glandular Fever) has now been triggered off by the Lyme and is active again.
I also have problems on my immune system with some markers meaning I now need to have further tests on my bone marrow and I also have high levels of copper, mercury, plastic toxins and a range of other things sitting in my system. I am also still waiting for the results of other tests.
I got told all that last Monday, 29th February. Happy Leap Year!!
Throughout my ill-health, I have managed to keep myself in a reasonable frame of mind. In many ways I am fortunate that my coaching and therapy training has given me the skills to observe myself and manage my mood.
Last week however, I struggled to come to terms with yet more illness on the list. I felt at a complete loss as to how to deal with it all and felt myself tipping in to the darkness of depression.
I have experienced deep depression when I had ME many years ago. If you have never experienced it, it is difficult to fully understand. It is a dark, lonely place with not even a glimpse of light or desire to do anything at all. It is a place where no one can reach you and you are lost even to yourself.
It is not a place I want to go back to.
The worst thing I could do
So last week my mood tumbled downwards and my brain sent me looking for something that would cheer me up. So I opened a bottle of wine and enjoyed a couple of glasses! In a low mood and high pain, in that moment it helped me to feel better.
As getting alcohol out of my system uses all my essential nutrients in the detox process, it was of course, the worst thing I could do.
The best thing
I noticed myself tumbling down and did my best to raise my mood. Having my family come to stay for a few days helped me to pull myself back up. Nurture, love and laughter are 3 of the best tonics you can get.
How to go forward?
This week I am aiming for a brighter week – and not just because my lovely sister cleaned my windows!
I have used my ways of lifting my mood, given myself a good talking to and am now back to looking for ways through my ill-health. I have agreed to go on a short, different course of anti-biotics to help calm the Epstein Barr.
I have increased my meditation. I remind myself before I go to sleep of what I have been able to achieve in the day, rather than all of the things that I haven’t been able to do.
This week I am back to focusing on how to find my way out of this. When my brain works, I am researching about food, supplements and herbs. I am supported by friends and family looking out for me as well. It doesn’t matter what ‘labels’ I am given for what is wrong with me – what matters is how I deal with it.
This week will definitely be a brighter week.
I hope you all have a good one too.