I haven’t written a blog for a while as I lost access to my brain again!
Having struggled physically to the extent where I was back crawling up and down the stairs, the deterioration moved on to impact on my concentration, neck pain and headaches.
This time, not being able to do very much has given me another great time for reflection and to acknowledge how far I had improved from the start of the year. I had increased from 10 minutes of concentration and 200 steps right up to a couple of hours and 1000 steps. Which was a massive improvement.
It’s a game
So whilst there have been good patches in 2016 when I have been able to climb up the ladder, and bad patches when I have slid back down, there is no denying that I had improved.
As frustrating as it is when the roll of the dice sends me sliding back down, as it has this time, the great thing now is that I know I can climb up and I will do it again.
Turned a corner
So now I have turned a corner again and I am trying to get some improvements back in and am attempting the first few rungs on the ladder. I had to stop trying to read or look at the computer in order to concentrate on getting my physical health back up. With one thing impacting on the other, I had to make a choice.
So in order to be able to use what energy I had to take care of my self and do the essentials like getting food, I had to accept that I couldn’t attempt anything that required concentration.
The most challenging thing
Whilst constant and incredibly unpleasant, I can deal with the pain, fatigue and debilitation. Not being able to concentrate, read or find the right words for a sentence is the most challenging thing for me.
So rather than allow the frustration to take hold, I put myself in to a calm place. Rest, meditation and being accepting of my current situation are the best things I can do. Not forcing myself to try things in the vain hope that the neurons will start firing again is the only route I can take.
So I just have to be still and remind myself that I will be able to climb up the ladder again, one step at a time, and get back to where I was a month ago. And from there I know that I will be determined to keep getting improvements.
And if I happen to slide back down again at some point in this game of snakes and ladders, I know in my heart and soul that I will be able to climb back up again.
We are all so much more
I also know that if any of you out there have slid down in someway in your life, then just remember that you have the inner resilience to climb back up. We are all so much more than our current circumstances.
One day I know I will win this game and be experiencing life free from the pain and debilitation of Lyme Disease. I don’t know how long it will take but keeping my focus on that is what keeps me going.
Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy your days in whatever way you can.